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Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Garden Update!

A special someone and I decided to take a trip to the garden store this weekend and added a few new editions to our urban garden.

Instead of trying to plant them in a standard pot (The patio rail blocks a lot of sun)I finally took the leap and got the Topsy Turvy! I must say, these are pretty cool but it will be awhile before I can give an accurate review.

Below are some pictures of my activities today. Tune in again for more!


{Husky Cherry Red 3/22/2009}




{Husky Cherry Red 3/22/2009}




{Better Boy 3/22/2009}




{Better Boy Macro Shot 3/22/2009}




-Johnny Dangerously






Spring Time!



Well my friends, spring has finally arrived. We have been through a tough and brutal winter and I'm not just speaking about the weather. Our economy hit it's lowest point this winter and our president spent like a drunken sailor. We printed $1.2trillion dollars just last week...

But I digress, the weather is warming up, the sun is starting to shine and the birds are starting to sing. I get a surge of energy and excitement this time of year because it's time to plant the garden!

Since I do not have a yard, I will be forced to do a lot of indoor/porch growing in pots which poses a bit of a challenge. There isn't a place in my apartment that gets full sun but I'm going to give it a shot.

To start things off, I planted seeds of the following plants in organic soil:

-Catnip
-Italian Parsley
-Sweet Basil
-Chives
-Rosemary

The parsley and chives are new seeds while the others are from last season. I just froze them.

I will keep this updated with the progress of the garden if your interested at all. If anyone else is doing a garden also, let me now and we can put some of your pictures on here.

Enjoy!


{3/21/2009}




{3/21/2009}




{3/21/2009}





-Johnny Dangerously




Monday, February 9, 2009

Story Time! 2

Drop Dead


Chapter 2


“Jeffrey, where the fuck is my coffee?” I said with obvious agitation in my voice.

Where the fuck is that piece of shit? What the fuck do I pay him for? I swear to god I'm going to fire his ass tonight.

“I'm pouring it now sir!” replied Jeffrey sounding frantic.

Sitting at the glass table, I could see him head my way with a cup of coffee in his hand. He had a rush to his stride as he passed through a marble hallway. I wonder if he ever admires the works of art I have on the wall in the hallway. He probably has no idea who the artists are and could probably care less. Sometimes I feel that this schmuck doesn't realize how good he has it.

“Here you go sir, I'm very sorry that you had to wait. I had to wash the inside of the coffee maker as it had gotten dirty. It won't happen again, I can assure you that.” he said as he finished with a smile.

“Fine, do you have this morning's WSJ? I swear to god if those journalist pigs wrote about our 4th quarter loss...” I said while I could feel my face heating up. It's way to fucking early to be this stressed.

“Yes sir, let me go fetch it.”

I have a meeting friday with Paulson at the treasury building. That mother fucker is supposed to talk to me about some additional money he will funnel to us if we go ahead with the merger. The fucking merger. What a fucking mess. John, our CEO has already been to the hospital twice this week because his heart was fluttering, causing him to almost pass out.

“Well, your not on the front page sir.” Jeffrey said while handing me the paper.

“Probably the only good thing that will happen today.” I replied.

I heard some rustling up stairs, probably my wife. That's my queue to get the fuck out of here. I don't want to see that wench this early. Her face looks like a fish skull in the morning.

“Alright Jeffrey, I need to get to the Ritz to meet with Sanders and get some breakfast. Make sure you have everything ready for the kids before they wake up. They don't need to be fucking late again.” I said.

“No problem sir, all is taken care of. Enjoy our day.” he replied.

“Ha, yeah right.” I said as I made my way to the front door.

The cool morning felt good on my face, since it was moist from sweating this morning. The hot coffee didn't help matters. I made my way to the garage to get in my new mercedes. Fucking v12 in that car. It's a piece of art in it's own right.

I sat in the drivers seat, admiring the feeling of the cool leather that shaped to my body. As I sat, there was a small swoosh sound, which is very satisfying.

As the car turned on, I was overwhelmed with the sound and feeling of the engine starting. It felt like you were sitting on the voice-box of a growling pitbul. Ferocious yet as delicate and precise as the sound of a wave hitting the beach. Speaking of, I need to go on a fucking vacation soon.

I arrived at the ritz parking deck and handed the keys over to the vale. That little shit better not fuck with my car. You should have seen how big his eyes got when I pulled up. That little fucker is going to take it for a spin, I can feel it.

“Be careful with his one, young man. If anything happens to it I promise that I will break your legs. Have a good day.” I said with a stern look. Then I tossed him the keys.

I made my way through the revolving door and took a few steps in the lobby when my blackberry went off. Fishing through my pocket, I finally grasped it and brought the screen where I could see it.

It was Doug, one of my guys working on every detail of the merger. He helps make sure we don't get fucked on this deal but seeing that he was calling me this early made my stomach queasy. Something was wrong.

“Hi Doug, what's up?” I answered.

Just as Doug started to speak, I noticed a little puppy taking a shit on the floor. Fucking great, I'm not going to be able to eat after smelling that pile of shit. I have a weird thing with smells, they stick with me for hours. Dog shit doesn't help with my appetite.

“Wait, what?” I said into the phone.

Doug was going on about some new bad assets he discovered last night that weren't reported to us yet in our discussions with the company we were going to merge with. The bad assets we did know about were enough to convince me this is a horrible fucking deal. And still there are even more. Our fucking shareholders are going to sell like its the great depression.

To make matters worse, their CEO is being a complete ass. Even though we are saving his fucking company, he is still such a greedy fuck. He's been pushing to get a majority role in anyway that he can. He just doesn't get it.

“They can kiss my ass if they think we will do this merger without my 60% ownership. We are saving their asses! Their shareholders will have their heads on a fucking stick!” I screamed into the phone.

“Listen Doug, I'm about to meet a client so I can't talk about this right now. Find out everything you can and I will see you in a couple hours.” I said then hung up the phone.

What a fucking day this is going to be.


-Johnny

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Fat Bitch OWNED!




Thought you might enjoy this :-)

You will like my smelly feet!!!


(Yummy...)

Is it bad to wish that some people in this world would wrap their car around a telephone pole? You know, speed up the social darwinian process?

Well, that's how I feel about Teunis Tenbrook, a student who attended classes at a Netherland university.

He was banned from his classes because his feet smelled sooo bad. Banned from class! Apparently his feet smelled so bad that it was distracting to professors and students.

Ok, so this guy has smelly feet and everyone knows it. What is the next logical step for him to take?

Wash his feet? Put shoes on? Foot odor spray?

Of course not! He spent TEN FUCKING YEARS fighting the decision in the courts. So that's ten years he wasn't going to school. Bright guy.

Did he win? NO! "The school said its new policy is to fine smelly students rather than ban them from classes." Alright Teunis, you better cough some cash up!



Do you feel that justice has been served? Voice your opinion in the comments section.



[UPI.com]

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Browse the iTunes store from your browser



For those of you who use iTunes as your music player/manager, please leave this page. This post is not for you.

For those of us that don't use iTunes or have replaced it (Songbird!), then I have some great news for you. If you have had a chance to play with the iTunes store, then you realize that it's fucking great! Everything is organized so well and the amount of content is just ridiculous. Well that resource is right at your fingertips, no matter what computer your using.

The iTunes Store can be accessed through your browser just by visiting this website.

Enjoy!


[iTunes Store]

Craigslist + Cracked.com = The funniest top 10 list ever...


(Don't worry ladies, he's "Orally Talented")

I have written several posts about Cracked.com articles but this one surely tops them all. They found the time to scour the Craigslist Personals section to find the 10 most sexually unappealing Craigslist postings.

I will warn you now that these are not only disgusting but actually real. That's right, real people wrote these in order to find a casual encounter or two.

There really isn't much I can say, just read the article.





[Cracked.com]