Thought you might enjoy this :-)
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
You will like my smelly feet!!!
(Yummy...)
Is it bad to wish that some people in this world would wrap their car around a telephone pole? You know, speed up the social darwinian process?
Well, that's how I feel about Teunis Tenbrook, a student who attended classes at a Netherland university.
He was banned from his classes because his feet smelled sooo bad. Banned from class! Apparently his feet smelled so bad that it was distracting to professors and students.
Ok, so this guy has smelly feet and everyone knows it. What is the next logical step for him to take?
Wash his feet? Put shoes on? Foot odor spray?
Of course not! He spent TEN FUCKING YEARS fighting the decision in the courts. So that's ten years he wasn't going to school. Bright guy.
Did he win? NO! "The school said its new policy is to fine smelly students rather than ban them from classes." Alright Teunis, you better cough some cash up!
Do you feel that justice has been served? Voice your opinion in the comments section.
[UPI.com]
Well, that's how I feel about Teunis Tenbrook, a student who attended classes at a Netherland university.
He was banned from his classes because his feet smelled sooo bad. Banned from class! Apparently his feet smelled so bad that it was distracting to professors and students.
Ok, so this guy has smelly feet and everyone knows it. What is the next logical step for him to take?
Wash his feet? Put shoes on? Foot odor spray?
Of course not! He spent TEN FUCKING YEARS fighting the decision in the courts. So that's ten years he wasn't going to school. Bright guy.
Did he win? NO! "The school said its new policy is to fine smelly students rather than ban them from classes." Alright Teunis, you better cough some cash up!
Do you feel that justice has been served? Voice your opinion in the comments section.
[UPI.com]
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Browse the iTunes store from your browser
For those of you who use iTunes as your music player/manager, please leave this page. This post is not for you.
For those of us that don't use iTunes or have replaced it (Songbird!), then I have some great news for you. If you have had a chance to play with the iTunes store, then you realize that it's fucking great! Everything is organized so well and the amount of content is just ridiculous. Well that resource is right at your fingertips, no matter what computer your using.
The iTunes Store can be accessed through your browser just by visiting this website.
Enjoy!
[iTunes Store]
For those of us that don't use iTunes or have replaced it (Songbird!), then I have some great news for you. If you have had a chance to play with the iTunes store, then you realize that it's fucking great! Everything is organized so well and the amount of content is just ridiculous. Well that resource is right at your fingertips, no matter what computer your using.
The iTunes Store can be accessed through your browser just by visiting this website.
Enjoy!
[iTunes Store]
Craigslist + Cracked.com = The funniest top 10 list ever...
(Don't worry ladies, he's "Orally Talented")
I have written several posts about Cracked.com articles but this one surely tops them all. They found the time to scour the Craigslist Personals section to find the 10 most sexually unappealing Craigslist postings.
I will warn you now that these are not only disgusting but actually real. That's right, real people wrote these in order to find a casual encounter or two.
There really isn't much I can say, just read the article.
I will warn you now that these are not only disgusting but actually real. That's right, real people wrote these in order to find a casual encounter or two.
There really isn't much I can say, just read the article.
[Cracked.com]
The New Macbook Wheel
We all love Apple computers don't we? Hell, I'm writing this post on one right now!
Ok, so we all may not like Apple computers as much as the guy up there but they still come out with some pretty neat and innovative products. Apple has surely outdone themselves this time.
They have introduced a new laptop called the Macbook Wheel. What's that?
It's the first laptop computer without a keyboard! That's right! No keyboard!
How would I type? some of you might ask. Well why don't you watch the below video to find out!
Ok, so we all may not like Apple computers as much as the guy up there but they still come out with some pretty neat and innovative products. Apple has surely outdone themselves this time.
They have introduced a new laptop called the Macbook Wheel. What's that?
It's the first laptop computer without a keyboard! That's right! No keyboard!
How would I type? some of you might ask. Well why don't you watch the below video to find out!
***Disclaimer: If you actually thought this was real, then please do us all a favor and go kill yourself. :-)***
Monday, February 2, 2009
Story Time!
Drop Dead
Chapter One:
Chapter One:
The air is cold and moist this morning. The wind isn't very strong, which is strange on a day like this in the city.
I push through a revolving door to the Ritz Hotel in downtown Chicago. The lobby is buzzing with activity from bellhops asking customers which room they are in to business men in suits blabbing on their cell phone.
“They can kiss my ass if they think we will do this merger without my 60% ownership. We are saving their asses! Their shareholders will have their heads on a fucking stick!” one man screamed into his Blackberry. A big sweaty vein was popping out of his forehead. How long will that guy live, I wondered. Do his kids ever see him? Guess someone has to pay the mortgage.
I make my way over the short, burgundy pattered carpet to the front desk. An attractive young woman with straight platinum blonde hair and lightly tanned skinned immediately gave me attention.
“Welcome to the Ritz. How can I help you this morning, sir?” she said in a very uppity innocent tone.
“I'll take a room on the top floor if it's available. I really love a great view,” I said with a smile.
“Not a problem, let me see what we have available.”
She began typing very fast on her keyboard. No ring, I noticed. What is a piece of ass like this doing without a hubby? She must be in her late 20's. Guess she hasn't met the richest guy in the room yet. Who can blame her with the amount of money floating around this part of town.
While she was looking for my room, I turned around to notice a family of three talking to a bellhop while he loaded his bronze cart with their suitcases. You could see the excitement in all of their faces as it looks like they were just about to start their vacation. A young boy, maybe ten years old, was holding a red leash with a chocolate lab puppy on the other end. While they were distracted with the bellhop, the dog started sniffing the carpet intensely. It then squatted down, curling its back, and dropped a big pile of steaming hot shit. The Dad immediately turned red and smacked the dog on the butt yelling, “No, bad boy!”
The dogs tail went between it's legs while it hunkered under a nearby chair. Well at least as far as the leash would allow. A mexican janitor instantly headed towards the scene with a broom and dust pan. The shit people will do for a couple bucks.
“Sir, we do have a room on the top floor above 23rd street. Will this be okay for you?” the beautiful girl behind the desk said.
“That will work just fine. Thank you.” I replied.
“Will you be paying by credit card?”
“No, cash if that's okay?” I said with another smile on my face. My mind kept racing through the things that I would do to her.
“Of course sir. May I see your ID?” she said with a cute little smirk.
“Here you go.” I said as I handed her a fake Nebraska drivers license.
She studied it for just a minute then handed it back saying, “Thank you, Mr. Williams.”
I noticed her deep red nail polish which really accented her delicate, soft skin.
“The room will be $210 dollars a night with pay per view access. How long will you be staying?”
“Just one night, Miss,” I replied.
“Great, here is your room key. Just insert it in the slot and pull the handle down. There will be a complimentary 3 course breakfast in the morning and dial 0 on the phone to reach room service. Is there anything else that I can do for you this morning?” she said looking up at me with doe eyes.
“That will be all, thank you for your help. Have a nice day.” I replied with a wink.
She signaled over to her right and a pimple-faced late teen arrived within seconds to pick up my bags. I immediately grabbed the handle of my big duffle bag and said, “I'll take it from here.” as I handed him a $20 bill. He smiled while nodding his head and said, “Thank you sir!”
I made my way toward the elevator dodging people as I went. I reached forward and pressed the up arrow on a fingerprint smeared button. A small ding sounded and the bronze doors opened with a fat couple standing inside. They slowly waddled their way past me bringing with them a small, onion smelling breeze. My nose scrunched up while I could feel my throat tighten. Fucking wastes of space.
I pressed the level 18 button and waiting while the doors shut. As they closed, the chattering sound of the lobby became an abrupt silence. The elevator began moving upwards as my body felt an invisible weight push down on me for a second.
While approaching the tenth floor, all the momentum of the elevator came to a halt. The doors opened and a middle aged man in a Dallas Cowboys jacket entered the elevator while eating an apple. He nodded in my direction and headed for the level dial. He pushed the lobby button and stood behind me chomping on his apple. I could hear his teeth pierce the soft body of the apple with every bite. As he chewed, his mouth would open every other bite. This made a wet clucking sound which instantly made my blood boil. To make matters worse, he breathed with his mouth because of an obvious stuffed nose. Out of anger, I slowly reached my hand into my coat pocket to feel the coarse body of a .32 pistol. It was loaded with a round in the chamber.
I loosened my grip on the messenger of death and came to my senses. This would fuck up my plan. Plus this asshole would probably scream, alerting everyone. I hope this guy rots in hell.
Finally I arrived at my floor and made my way towards the room. I swiped my room key and opened the door to a dark yet clean smelling room. Ah, my new office.
-Johnny
I push through a revolving door to the Ritz Hotel in downtown Chicago. The lobby is buzzing with activity from bellhops asking customers which room they are in to business men in suits blabbing on their cell phone.
“They can kiss my ass if they think we will do this merger without my 60% ownership. We are saving their asses! Their shareholders will have their heads on a fucking stick!” one man screamed into his Blackberry. A big sweaty vein was popping out of his forehead. How long will that guy live, I wondered. Do his kids ever see him? Guess someone has to pay the mortgage.
I make my way over the short, burgundy pattered carpet to the front desk. An attractive young woman with straight platinum blonde hair and lightly tanned skinned immediately gave me attention.
“Welcome to the Ritz. How can I help you this morning, sir?” she said in a very uppity innocent tone.
“I'll take a room on the top floor if it's available. I really love a great view,” I said with a smile.
“Not a problem, let me see what we have available.”
She began typing very fast on her keyboard. No ring, I noticed. What is a piece of ass like this doing without a hubby? She must be in her late 20's. Guess she hasn't met the richest guy in the room yet. Who can blame her with the amount of money floating around this part of town.
While she was looking for my room, I turned around to notice a family of three talking to a bellhop while he loaded his bronze cart with their suitcases. You could see the excitement in all of their faces as it looks like they were just about to start their vacation. A young boy, maybe ten years old, was holding a red leash with a chocolate lab puppy on the other end. While they were distracted with the bellhop, the dog started sniffing the carpet intensely. It then squatted down, curling its back, and dropped a big pile of steaming hot shit. The Dad immediately turned red and smacked the dog on the butt yelling, “No, bad boy!”
The dogs tail went between it's legs while it hunkered under a nearby chair. Well at least as far as the leash would allow. A mexican janitor instantly headed towards the scene with a broom and dust pan. The shit people will do for a couple bucks.
“Sir, we do have a room on the top floor above 23rd street. Will this be okay for you?” the beautiful girl behind the desk said.
“That will work just fine. Thank you.” I replied.
“Will you be paying by credit card?”
“No, cash if that's okay?” I said with another smile on my face. My mind kept racing through the things that I would do to her.
“Of course sir. May I see your ID?” she said with a cute little smirk.
“Here you go.” I said as I handed her a fake Nebraska drivers license.
She studied it for just a minute then handed it back saying, “Thank you, Mr. Williams.”
I noticed her deep red nail polish which really accented her delicate, soft skin.
“The room will be $210 dollars a night with pay per view access. How long will you be staying?”
“Just one night, Miss,” I replied.
“Great, here is your room key. Just insert it in the slot and pull the handle down. There will be a complimentary 3 course breakfast in the morning and dial 0 on the phone to reach room service. Is there anything else that I can do for you this morning?” she said looking up at me with doe eyes.
“That will be all, thank you for your help. Have a nice day.” I replied with a wink.
She signaled over to her right and a pimple-faced late teen arrived within seconds to pick up my bags. I immediately grabbed the handle of my big duffle bag and said, “I'll take it from here.” as I handed him a $20 bill. He smiled while nodding his head and said, “Thank you sir!”
I made my way toward the elevator dodging people as I went. I reached forward and pressed the up arrow on a fingerprint smeared button. A small ding sounded and the bronze doors opened with a fat couple standing inside. They slowly waddled their way past me bringing with them a small, onion smelling breeze. My nose scrunched up while I could feel my throat tighten. Fucking wastes of space.
I pressed the level 18 button and waiting while the doors shut. As they closed, the chattering sound of the lobby became an abrupt silence. The elevator began moving upwards as my body felt an invisible weight push down on me for a second.
While approaching the tenth floor, all the momentum of the elevator came to a halt. The doors opened and a middle aged man in a Dallas Cowboys jacket entered the elevator while eating an apple. He nodded in my direction and headed for the level dial. He pushed the lobby button and stood behind me chomping on his apple. I could hear his teeth pierce the soft body of the apple with every bite. As he chewed, his mouth would open every other bite. This made a wet clucking sound which instantly made my blood boil. To make matters worse, he breathed with his mouth because of an obvious stuffed nose. Out of anger, I slowly reached my hand into my coat pocket to feel the coarse body of a .32 pistol. It was loaded with a round in the chamber.
I loosened my grip on the messenger of death and came to my senses. This would fuck up my plan. Plus this asshole would probably scream, alerting everyone. I hope this guy rots in hell.
Finally I arrived at my floor and made my way towards the room. I swiped my room key and opened the door to a dark yet clean smelling room. Ah, my new office.
-Johnny
I'm Back! Sort of...
Hello Faithful Readers,
Or really, the few friends I have left that will take a look at the page to make me feel good about myself haha.
I think I'm going to take another stab at this blogging thing but with a twist. Sure I will try to put some funny/imformative posts that you have grown to love but I think I might add something to the mix.
In my off time I enjoy writing short stories. I'm definitely not the best writer by any means but I really do enjoy it. So here is my experiment:
I have started writing a story that I would like to turn into a book someday and the thing that I need the most is motivation. I'm going to try to publish perhaps a chapter every week or two on The Latreen so hopefully my readers will want to come back for more. Getting some feedback would be icing on the cake.
Either way, keep your eye on The Latreen and hopefully I won't let you down again!
Sincerely,
Johnny
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